It so happens that on the ninth of June, 200-, a boy named Querkey was playing in the backyard when he heard the sound of a hippopotamas yawning behind him. Granted, he had never heard a hippo yawn before. However, his instinct told him that that's what it was.1

Turning around, his ears found themselves justified in thinking so. A huge gray beast stood there. It seemed quite tame for some reason. Then Querkey saw her--sitting astride the hippo's back. Actually, all he could make out was her silhouette. 2

"Lumvra, what are you stopping for?" the girl asked the hippo. "Mun mun," the gray beast said.3

"Oh, well he'll have to excuse my manners, won't he?" the girl said, sliding off the hippo's back and rushing up to Querkey. She had strawberry blonde hair and a dimple on her chin. Holding out her hand for Querkey to shake it, a moment passed before he noticed and he awkwardly did so. 4

"I'm Karma Yaney, and this is my hippo, Lumvra. We're on our way to visit the Parting Sisters."5

"Parting Sisters? Oh, and I'm Querkey, by the way."6

"Ah, Querkey. So you've never heard of the Parting Sisters? They're the only ones in the world who can bestow the gifts of magic on mortals."7

"Magic?" Querkey queried, trying to imagine sawing his older brother in half.8

"No, not like that," Karma said. Querkey jumped about a mile. She could read his mind!9

"What's going on here?" he demanded to know.10

"Mind-reading is one of the first lessons of mortals who wish to use magic. You don't think the Parting Sisters would make me a sorceress if I hadn't even mastered one of the most basic skills, do you?"11

Querkey became angry, imagining that Karma was laughing at him. "That's it!" he said, fury ringing from his every note. "You are taking me with you!"12

"Yeah, right," Karma said, chuckling inwardly. "I'll take you with me when Hell freezes over." 13

Quick as a flash, Querkey pulled out a strange, octagonal object with an image of a green zoological skate on it. He held it in a fist and put this fist next to his heart. "Onusabare!" he shouted.14

Instantly, Karma felt flames eating the seat of her pants. She jumped about a mile. "Make it stop you little twerp!"15

"I can come with you?" he asked.16

"Sure, sure! Anything! Just make it stop!"17

He did so. Karma rubbed her hands across the area that had been burning only a minute before. "Whew," she breathed. Then she stared covetously at the talisman, plotting a way of stealing it from Querkey.18

"Just so you know," Karma began, "Lumvra likes brownies. A lot. So you'd better bring some. Preferably Duncan Hines."19

Querkey nodded. He was positively excited that he'd be going on a journey. Running into the house, he grabbed all the already baked brownies from the fridge, and some Betty Crocker zebra cakes, just in case. Then he left a note for Aunt Meredith, explaining where he was going and why. Not that she'd care. She'd probably just be relieved that the nephew her dead sister forced her to raise ten years ago would now be off her hands for a while. If she were lucky, perhaps Querkey would disappear forever.20

Finally, he came outside, and Karma showed him how to climb Lumvra the "right way." Once he was settled, she stepped forward, taking giant strides. And the world vanished. It was as though Querkey were staring at wind. Truly, wind is invisible. But Querkey could have sworn that on all sides he was staring at what wind would look like if it were visible. There were swirls and lines and raging colors--the colors of the wind, which Querkey thought sounded like a song from a Disney movie. 21

"Where are we?" he asked Karma.22

"We're in the Inside-Out Tunnel. All of the trees and houses and cars and people are invisible here. Not only that, but they have also acquired all the properties of wind. Which means that we can go through them. I can't explain all the science of it, but that's how it works."23

"Oh. But how come we can travel with wind all around us without any obstacles?"24

"But there are obstacles, Querkey. Here comes one now."25

Karma stared straight ahead. Querkey had to peer over her shoulder to see, resting his chin against her clavicle.26

It was a tiny orange creature with forklike fingernails. It's entire body was no bigger than Querkey's shoe.27

"A vilderhoppin. Give Lumvra some brownies; she can't defeat it on an empty stomach."28

Querkey handed three brownies to Karma, who reached down to toss them into the hippo's mouth. The vilderhoppin grew steadily larger until it blocked the whole pathway. 29

"Hold on," Karma said. "These brownies DO have almonds in them, don't they?"30

"Yes, why?"31

Karma breathed a sigh of relief and told Querkey to watch.32

The vilderhoppin reached for Lumrva, perhaps to lift her up and toss her back the way she came. But before his fiery claws could touch her body, she spat tiny seeds at him. His arm disappeared, as if it were eaten by gnats. Then the vilderhoppin got the bright idea of kicking Lumra, which action was responded to by hundreds of seeds. Querkey was astonished; three brownies could not hold that many almonds. But he kept silent as the vilderhoppin, now with only one leg, lay down on the ground with its face directly in front of the hippo. He tried to blow her away, but the seeds came too rapidly for his reflexes. Soon he was headless. Then Lumvra proceeded to walk over his prostrate body--he could do nothing without a thinking facility, even as limited as his powers were.33

"How did she do that?" Querkey asked Karma, after they had gone a few feet.34

"What?"35

"The seeds--almonds. There couldn't have been more than twenty among the three brownies, yet your hippo was spitting out hundreds, maybe thousands."36

"Oh, Lumvra's not really mine. Nobody owns any animals--she's my friend. And, secondly, her saliva multiplies anything small enough when she feels threatened. Something about adrenalin, you know."37

"No, I don't know. I'm only eleven."38

"Well, I'm only thirteen. Then again, I've been studying hard to become a sorceress. If those Parting Sisters don't give me what I seek, I'll..." Tears welled in her eyes. She was like this for a few minutes, and Querkey decided to remain quiet for a while.39

Hours passed, and Lumvra trudged on. They saw no more vilderhoppins, which Karma noted was extremely peculiar. It was like not meeting cacti while traveling in the desert. Lumvra had to be fed every two hours. They did not need sleep. Karma tried to explain it to Querkey but it became too complicated. Although only two years disparity in age, they were a decade different in knowledge. Karma was raised by parents who kept books in the house, especially volumes about magic and the Parting Sisters. Querkey was raised by an aunt who loathed books and forced him to watch Saturday Night Live and The Price is Right. Furthermore, his friends enjoyed playing video games and he had spent myriad afternoons with his Game Boy. Karma had no friends except Lumvra--she had devoted the nine years since she learned how to read entirely to the study of magic. And even before that her mother always lamented about how much she had always been meaning to visit the Parting Sisters but never found out an opportunity.40

Thus, all Querkey could make out was that the Inside-Out Tunnel gave off an energy that left slumber a waste of time and unnecessary. 41

After two days of travel, a cacophanous noise ahead alarmed Querkey. He almost fell of Lumvra's back, but Karma grabbed him just before he slipped. 42

"Thank you," he said. "What was--"43

"Shhh!" she warned, putting a finger to her lips. 44

“Ve are the ghosts, ve are the ghosts of Ghortlemackle45

No one around can hear us46

No one around can see us47

For ve are the ghosts of Ghortlemackle48

And ve valk the tunnel of Inside-Outiness.”49

Several voices sung these lines. It sounded to Querkey’s ears like people with twisted tongues. Then white figures surrounded Lumvra and her two riders. 50

“Vell, vhat have ve here?” asked one of the figures, who was chubby with elongated eyes.51

“’Tis a gaddle of straddlers, O Hellem,” said another figure, who had white glasses and a high forehead.52

“Let’s ask the trespassers vhat they vant!” The figure who exclaimed thus appeared very aggressive.53

“Okaaaaay,” said the figure called O Hellem. “Vhat are thou doing in the tunnel of Inside-Outiness?”54

Karma answered. “We are going to visit the Parting Sisters.”55

“Hah! The Parting Sisters von’t have anything to do with a couple of rigrats like thou. Go home, and leave us thy steed.”56

“Lumvra’s not a steed, but a hippo!”57

“Mun, mun!” the hippo grunted.58

One of the white figures was eyeing Querkey very carefully. It appeared to be a female. She was young compared to the others. This staring made Querkey feel uncomfortable. He leaned forward to whisper in Karma’s ear, “Do you want me to take care of them? The talisman—“59

“Ve can hear thou, little sprite! Thou thinkest a talisman can destroy the likes of us? How funny! Does thou also believe that milk comes from bovine, that the Earth revolves around the Sun, and that the vorld is round?”60

“Aren’t those all facts?” Querkey asked, out loud. The woman who was staring at him ran to whisper in O Hellem’s ear.61

“Facts schmacts. Milk does not come bovine (excuse me, I can’t use the common vord of thy tongue—it will only come out as covs). Milk comes from E. coli, a bacteria that exists in the bovine’s stomach. There are 200,000 specimens of E. coli each in the six stomachs of a female bovine. They release the milk through a process called peristalsis. The Earth does not revolve around the Sun. The Moon does, and the Earth revolves around the Moon. Oh, and the Moon is not made of cheese, but of chocolate. There are actually twenty-nine satellites in our solar system—it is the satellites, not the planets, which revolve around the Sun. As to the vorld being round, that is also false. It is shaped more like a cube. So, in a sense it is flat. But it’s flat on six sides. Thou will not ‘fall off’ the Earth if thou reacheth an edge, as the people in the Middle Ages believed a Columbus came along and misdirected them with his theory of roundness. It’s just like reaching a waterfall, except that once thou are on the dovn slope, it straightens itself.”62

The figure who spoke thus had horn-rimmed glasses and a thin face. He must’ve been emaciated when he died.63

The woman figure who had been staring at Querkey had finished whispering. O Hellem spoke. “Myrtle informs me that the young youth sitting behind this obstinate lady is her son.”64

“Her son!” Gasps rang through the throng of white figures. 65

“Yes,” spoke Myrtle. She had a honey-sweet voice. “I vas killed by a member of the Order of the Ostrich near his first birthday. He vas left with my sister, Meredith, an ignorant voman that alvays vanted to corrupt a child. I hope she has not succeeded with this one.”66

“Vance,” Querkey said, without thinking.67

“Vho is Vance?” queried O Hellem.68

“My older brother, and he’s bad to the bone.”69

“Just as I feared,” Myrtle said, touching her white forehead. “Name some of his vices.”70

“Alcohol, drugs, and other things an eleven-year-old should not know about,” her son enumerated.71

“If I could svoon, I vould,” his mother said, sadly. “But thou hast run avay to escape these sins?”72

Querkey was about to reply with a negative, that that wasn’t why he was on this journey. However, Karma told him with her eyes that an affirmative answer would better aid their purpose.73

“Yes. Aunt Meredith is a cruel woman. She taught me to hit girls!”74

There was a young female about Karma’s age in the group. Her face made twists and convulsions as Querkey said this. She gave Karma a sympathetic look. As thanks for the figure’s commiseration, Karma became viperlike. Except for his talisman, Querkey had no weapon against her.75

“I hope thou hast not learnt any lessons from her. Thou escape vas vise, my son.”76

“Ve, the Ghosts of Ghortlemackle, vill let thou pass,” said O Hellem.77

The wraiths stood on either side of Lumvra in a long row. The hippo traipsed at a slow pace. Singing filled the tunnel:78

“The past is gone, let it be.79

The future is not here yet, 80

But a Vise child81

Vill anticipate.82

Today is a gift; 83

That’s vhy it’s called the present84

Ve feel the long journey,85

Shall deplete one’s strength,86

But vhen it comes all87

Dovn to it,88

There is energy in the vill.89

Never hope for it to end.90

Enjoy it vhile it lasts.”91

This song was sung three times. Then a new commenced, something about getting your wishes granted, or “vishes,” as the Ghortlemackle ghosts called them. Querkey was not paying much attention, for, at the end of the row stood his mother. She winked at him as they left the line, never to see the white figures again.92

The ride was quiet for a while. However, after another hour’s walking, Karma found her tongue. “’Vell, that vas exhilarating,’” she said, mocking the wraiths’ speech. “No wonder we haven’t run into any vilderhoppin lately. So, your mother was killed by a Clan?”93

Querkey didn’t answer. He appeared to be lost in thought.94

“Hello? Earth to Querkey,” she said, waving a hand in front on his face. Still nothing. “Talk to me you viddinit little schomspoll!”95

The unfamiliar insult woke him out of his reverie. “Did you say something, Karma?”96

“Yes!” she exclaimed, exasperatedly. “I’ve been talking nonstop for the last five minutes, waiting for your medulla oblongata to respond!”97

“I don’t know what that is.”98

“Ugh! Have you learned nothing? Oh, well, can’t blame your schomspoll of an aunt for not teaching you anything.”99

“What’s a schomspoll?” Querkey asked, puzzled.100

“You answer my question first and I’ll answer yours.”101

“Fire away.”102

“Your mother was killed by a Clan? What was it, the Order of the Stork or something?”103

“Ostrich.”104

“You should’ve told me when I first met you.”105

“Why?”106

“Because it would give me one more reason to hate the Clan system. All Clans are evil, and I want to be justified in thinking so.”107

Querkey said something in such a low voice that Karma didn’t catch it. She asked him to repeat it, a little louder. “I wouldn’t have been able to tell you, because I didn’t know.”108

“What! Not know that your own mother was killed?”109

“Aunt Meredith told me that she ran off with a man in a tuxedo and they moved to Sydney. I suppose Vance knew the truth, but I was only one when it happened. He’s five years older than me, after all.”110

“What kind of aunt would be so vile that she would lie to her nephew?”111

Querkey said nothing. Karma did not know Aunt Meredith’s ways; she had but an inkling of how he was treated under her roof. Once, Querkey had sneaked out of the house and went to the library by himself. He got a card and checked out three volumes, Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone, The Bad Beginning, and Bunnicula. His aunt ripped his card in four, then tossed it in the garbage. She yelled at him for an hour about the corruption of books and how she would never allow any of them in her house. She even took the first page out of all three volumes he checked out in his spaghetti that night and forced him to swallow them. She burned the books and ever since then Querkey’s fees to the library had been accumulating.112

Another vilderhoppin stopped them when they were just a turn away from the Parting Sisters’ domicile. 113

“Querkey, quick, get some brownies.”114

He searched the bag, but there were no brownies remaining. All that was left were zebra cakes. He handed these to Karma.115

“What is this? No, I asked you for brownies. Lumvra can’t defeat the vicklehoppin with these.”116

“She’ll have to,” Querkey said. “That’s all we have.”117

“Ugh! Leave it to a schomspoll to not bring enough brownies. I suppose I could use an elementary spell and magic them here…”118

“Mun, mun,” Lumvra moaned. The vilderhoppin was growing larger. 119

“Fine, girl. I’ll give you the zebra cakes, but they won’t do any good.”120

Karma quickly stuffed the cakes in Lumvra’s mouth “Man, I need time! Until I see the parting sisters, I can’t whip up brownies in a few seconds.”121

The vilderhoppin had grown as large as it could. It was lifting Lumvra in the palm of it’s hand. It pivoted it’s arm around and chunked them as far as it could, forcing them back a day’s journey. Luckily, Lumvra landed on her feet instead of her side.122

“Oh, bless the stars. We’re alive!” Karma exclaimed, hugging Querkey before she remembered that he was the reason they were unable to defeat the vilderhoppin. She pushed him away.123

They trudged back the way they came. Karma used her elementary magic skills to whip up some brownies, while Querkey pondered. After a few hours, he said quietly, “Karma, you’re not mad at me, are you?”124

“Of course I’m mad at you. When we get back there, we’re going to have to face two vilderhoppin, not one. Even with these makeshift brownies, we’ll have problems. Furthermore, there’s no chance of survival if we get caught this time. There’s an old saying that is easier to win the lottery than to survive a vilderhoppin attack, and it’s easier to get struck by lightning six times than to win the lottery. Which means that we are one hundred percent dead upon this second encounter.”125

“Well, I was thinking—“126

“Yes, I can read your mind, Querkey. I don’t think it’ll work.”127

“But, what if it’s our only hope?”128

“Lumvra’s saliva is our only hope.”129

“You said there’s going to two of them.”130

“Yes, and you’ll see that I’m right.”131

“I’m sure the talisman—“132

“The talisman is not a toy, Querkey. You don’t even know its significance. How you even came by such an extraordinary trinket of magic is beyond me.”133

Querkey pulled out the octagonal object and stared at the green figure etched in its surface. Then he shouted, “Nuctify!”134

Lumvra stopped in her tracks. Karma gave Querkey a dirty look and hopped off the hippo to examine her. “What did you do? Get down here, you little schomspoll.” 135

He reluctantly climbed down. If he didn’t, Karma might refuse to take him any further.136

As Querkey had known she would, the hippo had developed a second row of teeth below her first one. “What is the purpose of this?” Karma asked. “Are you trying to make it harder for us?”137

“Look, it’s the only way I could see for winning. You see, if she has two mouths, she’ll be able to attack two arms, two legs, and two heads that are attacking us.”138

“Hmmm,” Karma thought. “Come here little schomspoll.” Querkey obeyed, not altogether happily. Karma stared deeply into his eyes. “it appears you have a brain in there, after all. Just maybe we shall triumph. But, if we don’t, allow me to call you friend.”139

She held out a hand, and he shook it. Then they climbed back on Lumvra. 140

“So, have you ever used the talisman for to create a second mouth before?” Karma asked, as she finished making the brownies.141

“Yes. One night, when Vance brought his girlfriend over for dinner, I used the talisman on him. His girlfriend stared as his food went into his lower mouth and his upper one remained shut. Then when he tried to kiss her, she ran screaming from the house. She couldn’t bear his upper mouth touching her lips and his lower one on her chin. Luckily, he never found out it was me who did that.”142

They both laughed. For the first time since they had been together, they seemed to enjoy each other’s company.143

Eventually they returned to the corner where they had met the vilderhoppin. Indeed, there were two such creatures now. One tried to go behind Lumvra, which would’ve made her second mouth useless, for hippos cannot turn about quickly. However, this brilliant fiend was stopped when Querkey shot a line of water at it from his talisman. The vilderhoppin stepped back to join its brother, both of them growing alarmingly fast. Karma tossed three brownies in Lumvra’s first mouth and reached lower to put another quarter dozen in the second mouth. One of the vilderhoppin had its arm ready to lift the hippo, when a stream of almond seeds demolished that villainous instrument. The other one stepped in front and attempted to use both hands and cup Lumvra up, but seeds from one mouth went to the left and seeds in the other mouth shot to the right. Now the two vilderhoppins together had only a single arm, which they decided was useless.144

Before the vilderhoppin in front could lift its foot to kick, hundreds of seeds removed both legs. Now, limbless, it let its brother take over. The selfsame result occurred again. Karma blessed the stars that vilderhoppins weren’t too bright. Only the vilderhoppin with a remaining arm could get down and attempt to blow. Of course, its head was in danger. Once that weapon was removed, it seemed to be easy going. The other vilderhoppin stared stonily at these minions from Hell. Then he realized that he could bounce. He did so, landing in the center of his brother’s futile body. And he began to grow again. Finally, at full height, he bent to pick them up. Neither of Lumvra’s two mouths could save them now, for the fiend had grown his limbs behind them. Karma shook violently. She could hear Querkey’s thoughts; she didn’t want to be alone in her fright. But Querkey was not afraid. His mind focused on what she had told him about it being easier to be struck by lightning six times than to win the lottery. Querkey held the talisman aloft, and chanted, “Ficcleusery, Ficcleusery, Limebanbato, Limebanbato, Kwideranerfawn, Kwideranerfawn.”145

Out of the many swirling colors around them emerged six thunderbolts, and they all aimed for various parts of the vilderhoppin, who had eyes and ears for nothing but his quarry. One bolt struck his hand, another his right pupil, yet another his back. Howling in rage, he vanished in a puff of smoke.146

Karma looked at Querkey admiringly. He seemed different from when she first saw him, as if he had grown in spirit or purpose. Plus, in his talisman he held real magic. The magic she craved and coveted whenever she met another being who possessed it. Even as she thought this, she remembered that without his talisman, Querkey was impotent. However, he had proven himself worthy to be her friend.147

They turned a corner, and there was the cottage that had enlivened Karma’s dreams for nine years. The Parting Sisters lived here. It was stone-white with stucco and a statue of the great cat Sudaris, their familiar. Both children hopped off Lumvra’s back. This was it; the moment of truth!148

“Karma,” Querkey said quietly, as if he were unsure about what he had to voice.149

Her ability to read minds was exacerbated since she was brimming with emotion. “Yes, Querkey?”150

“I can’t go with you.”151

Karma turned to him, shock written on her face. “What do you mean you can’t come? You don’t expect me to go alone, do you?”152

“You were perfectly happy with being alone when Lumvra stopped in my backyard,” he reminded her, using the hippo’s name for the first time.153

“That was then. Things change. You’re my friend now. Please come with me!”154

“Karma, I have no business in the witches’ house. Besides, I have to go and find the Clan that murdered my mother. I must punish them, with the talisman. The sooner I commence the search, the better.”155

“I understand, but surely you can wait but a couple hours’ more? Now that I’m here, I’m afraid. Don’t leave me high and dry.”156

“Karma, we must part.”157

“Then, take Lumvra. I won’t need her to travel once the Parting Sisters give me what I desire.”158

“Thanks for the offer, Karma, but she’s your friend, not mine. And you never know what the witches will demand of you; you might need her yet.”159

“Well, if anything, you’ve become wiser,” she lauded him.160

“I suppose I have,” he reflected. “Now, how do I get out of the Inside-Out Tunnel?”161

For a moment, a spiteful thought entered Karma’s head. She would withhold the information until he visited the Parting Sisters with her. But she wasn’t selfish enough to carry it out. And, after all, Querkey was her friend. If he wanted to leave, she shouldn’t attempt to stop him. “You say the word ‘Num,’ three times and grab a blue streak from the Hue Wall in one hand and a green one in the other. Hold the blue streak as high as you can and the green one as low. Then the Inside-Out Tunnel will vanish and you’ll be in open air.”162

“Thank you, Karma.” They embraced.163

“Will I ever see you again?” she asked him.164

“I hope so.”165

He went over to the Hue Wall and caught both a blue and a green streak in the swirls after saying, ‘Num, num, num.’ The blue streak represented the sky; the green one was a symbol for grass. Querkey vanished.166

“Well, that’s that,” Karma said, staring at the place where he had disappeared. She turned to Lumvra, who still had a second mouth. “Wish me luck!”167

“Mun, mun.”168

Karma was grateful that her uncle had taught her to understand animal speech. Lumvra had eloquently told her that she believed that she could handle it, even without Querkey.

Now Karma traipsed toward the cottage. She had seen photos of it in books on magic, but never did it become so real as now. Wishing she had Querkey’s hand to hold on to, she rang the doorbell.170

Five seconds later the door opened wide, and a matronly woman stared at Karma, questioningly. Before she could speak, however, the witch voiced her thoughts, “You have come to ask my sisters and me to impart magic on you? Hmmm…I don’t believe we’ve ever bestowed such powers on anyone of as remarkable youth as yourself. Come in. Gertrude and Cybil will be right down.”171

Then this must be Therese. She led Karma into the sitting room, where paintings by Monet, Manet, Renoir, and Rubens adorned the walls. Then she went to call her sisters.172

Sudaris the familiar entered the room. He was all black with a yellow ribbon tied around his neck. Karma would’ve loved to fondle him, but she had read somewhere that he loathed caresses. Even the Parting Sisters were forbidden to touch him. 173

“So, new cat on the block, eh?” he asked. Just then Gertrude, Cybil, and Therese arrived. They heard his last words. “Sudaris! How many times have we told you not to talk to visitors?” Gertrude admonished.174

The familiar shuffled away in a huff.175

“Excuse Sudaris, young lady. He loves breaking the rules.”176

Karma was silent.177

“Do you forgive him?” asked Cybil. “You must say it out loud.”178

“Yes, I forgive…Sudaris,” Karma said tentatively. She didn’t want to let them know that she had read countless books about them. Of course, they could read her mind to discover that fact, but she doubted they’d search for something so mundane.179

“Well, now, we must get down to brass tacks,” said Therese. “You’ve come here for magic. But in order for us to give it to you, you must pass the Probe Test, which Cybil will kindly administer.”180

Cybil said some rhyming words under her breath. Karma felt a metallic contraption form around her head. It started beeping and she thought a tiny insect was scurrying around in her brain. Then the beeping came to a halt. Cybil frowned.181

“Failure.”182

Therese, Cybil, and Gertrude all exchanged looks. Then the latter spoke. “Young lady, we regret to inform you that you are not yet ready for our magic.”183

“But—“ she tried to protest.184

Therese held up a hand. “You see, young lady, our sorcery is far too potent for some who has not fallen in love to wield. Until you find a guy that you truly love, so much that you would die for him, you shall remain a mortal as you are.”185

“The books didn’t say anything about this,” Karma said. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have come all this way.”186

“Oh, you’ve read about us, haven’t you?” Cybil beamed. “No, they wouldn’t say anything about it because we won’t let them publish our qualifications. Also, those we have bestowed our gifts on are sworn to secrecy. Anyone who writes or speaks about our requirement is killed. The only exception is with the one that person loves. Of course the lover is permitted to know, but anyone else is off limits.”187

“Doesn’t your magic make someone immortal?”188

“Immortal to mortals, young lady,” said Gertrude. “Not immortal to us.”189

“It could take years to fall in love.”190

“We understand that,” Therese said. “However, in love you must be, if you wish for magic. Furthermore, you must not force yourself to fall in love. It has to just happen, from out of the blue.”191

Karma was crestfallen. “I guess I’ll be going now.” 192

Therese took her to the door. “We’ll call on you the moment it happens. You’ve been bugged.”193

Karma stared at her in shock.194

“Don’t worry; we won’t be able to hear a thing you say. Only your heart has been bugged. If you fall in love, we’ll know immediately. This method also keeps you from attempting to fool us. Thank you. Good-bye.” Therese shut the door.195

Karma stood there for a second or two before she collected herself. Then she went to where Lumvra was waiting, and cried.196

They left the Inside-Out Tunnel in search of someone Karma could love. Her first thoughts were on her cousin, Sebastian Yaney. He certainly was eligible if her chief interest were looks. However, Sebastian hadn’t a brain in his head. She moved from him to Barney Quilliburt, but that was a bust when she caught him kissing Tiffany Spiddle. Karma began to drift. Her heart had to take a man sooner or later. How long it take to fall in love? How long must she wait?197

If anyone could’ve gone back in time to the moment when she left the Parting Sisters’ domicile, they would’ve been able to tell her that she would have to wait eight years. For a girl of thirteen, eight years feels like an interminable amount of time. Thank goodness no one was able to tell her that, or she would’ve given up and never run into a certain Spoonbat.198

However, it is the reader’s duty to permit the narrator to shift his focus from Karma to her other partner that bore the journey with her. 199

Four years elapsed before Querkey finally discovered the Order of the Ostrich. He wanted to rush at them and commit mass murder, but their alarm caught him unawares, and he thought he’d ask someone what was the matter. Querkey accosted a guy in a red tunic with a skull over his forehead. “Is something wrong with this Clan?” he asked innocently, as three people ran by with jugs of water slopping liquid all over the place.200

“The nurt is attacking our last goachani,” answered the Ostrich member.201

Querkey wondered what a nurt was. But he didn’t have to wonder for long, since the creature loomed in the sky for all to see. It possessed nine azure-colored eyes and four tails. Arrows and bullets bounced off its slick armor. The nurt was not something Querkey would want to cross if he were powerless. If…202

He could rescue the Clan. The Clan that killed his mother. He didn’t see any legitimate reason why he should; nevertheless, he wanted to. Querkey had no idea why he wished to help them, perhaps to show compassion for his enemies. Myrtle would probably not be pleased. 203

The goachani came into view. It was a slender gazelle with long antlers rising in spirals from its head. Furthermore, colors danced across its flesh—all the different shades Querkey had noticed on the Hue Wall. He suspected that this goachani was born in the Inside-Out Tunnel. 204

Querkey almost missed the moment when the nurt raised its claws to rip apart the goachani’s flesh. “Ookatapi, Ficcleusery!” he shouted, after pulling out the talisman.205

A lightning jolt hit the nurt’s claw and caused it to decay. A flame was ignited on three of its four tails. The nurt turned with his nine eyes to the assailant, and, leaving the goachani forgotten for the time being, turned its fury to Querkey.206

However, the nurt obviously had no idea whom he was dealing with. Soon it was blinded and limbless. It fell into an innocuous heap, and the goachani kicked it. Then there were screams and shouts. Shortly Querkey found himself surrounded by Ostrich members. They bowed before him, congratulated him. He was a hero.207

A fortnight later, the Clan leader died. A unanimous vote had Querkey chosen as his successor. Now Querkey was the master of the Clan which had left him motherless.208

And so four years was he their leader. Then one day he went hunting in the Target Wood, and heard a girl screaming. He hastened toward the sound. Recognizing his old friend Karma, he pulled out the talisman and kissed the green kite imprinted on it. Then he shouted, “Kwideranerfawn!”209

A thunder blast struck the attacking creature, which he noted at once was a Spoonbat. These mammalian birds had a spoon for a mouth to stick in people’s noses and suck their brain out as the Egyptians did to make mummies of their Pharaohs. 210

“You…you saved me,” Karma said. She did not recognize Querkey.211

“Yes, it would appear I have. What are friends for?”212

“You certainly are bold to already declare me a friend. Anyhow, I’m Karma Yaney.”213

“I know.”214

“You know?” she said, a little bitterly. “Who are you?”215

“The leader of the Order of the Ostrich.”216

Karma’s heart began palpitating. The voice sounded familiar. And the Order of the Ostrich? Wasn’t that the Clan that—217

“Querkey?” she asked him.218

“At your service.”219

“I must be dreaming.” 220

“Climb on Monney,” her friend said, indicating the horse. “Let’s go back to Clan headquarters.”221

Three hours later they were in Querkey’s tent, drinking hot cocoa and exchanging stories of the past eight years. Somehow during their talk their lips came closer and closer until…222

One of the Clan members entered the tent. He was wearing the typical uniform—red tunic and skull over face. But Querkey knew his as his Chief Under-Commander. “Leader, I must inform you that kissing by someone of your stature is strictly forbidden by Clan policy.”223

Karma gave Querkey a look which said, See why I hate Clans?224

“If I can’t kiss her, then I’m resigning,” the leader said.225

“You can’t resign!” exclaimed the Chief Under-Commander.226

“It looks I just did, Dojari.” It was an insult to call a member of the Clan by his given name. Dojari pulled off the skull and lunged it at Querkey, but it fell harmless to the ground. Querkey kissed Karma, and she felt her heart palpitating. Dojari ran angrily from the room.227

Then the three Parting Sisters appeared. “You’ve fallen in love!” Cybil exclaimed. Karma blushed.228

“You have now earned the gift of our magic,” said Therese.229

“Thank you, but no thank you,” Karma said.230

“But, isn’t this what you wanted?” asked Gertrude.231

“Yes. For seventeen years I’ve yearned to be a sorceress. But now I’ve learnt that there is no greater magic than true love. Besides, Querkey has all the power we might need in his talisman.”232

“Humph!” exclaimed Therese. “To think that anyone would spurn our magic! Come on, ladies.”233

They vanished, leaving the two lovebirds alone.234

Querkey asked Karma about this incident, and she told him. For many years after that, he often wondered why she didn’t just accept the gift of magic that she had craved for so long and use it in case the talisman was stolen. However, there was no point in pressing the matter.235

Their wedding came all too quickly. Aunt Meredith and Vance were conveniently forgotten. But the Yaneys came—hundreds of them. They filled both the bride and groom side of the chapel, and some had to stand outside. It was certainly memorable.236

On the first night of their honeymoon, Querkey thought of something.237

“Hey, you never told me what a schomspoll is.”238

“Oh,” Karma laughed. “It’s a warty toad that has no wits in a story for children.”239

"Do you still think I am one?"

"No."

They kiss.